Jean Godfrey-June, what do you do all day? You do spend your working hours reading press releases and listening to pitches from publicists, right? The junior staffers at Lucky do keep you apprised of the latest industry developments, don’t they? Because you’re supposed to be an expert, introducing us readers to the limited editions, the indulgent imports, the potions we haven’t heard about because they exist only in samples and don’t go on sale for six more months. Instead, this is what merits a write-up in your December column, “The Beauty Closet”:
…I didn’t think it was possible to improve upon the blotting sheet. Except for one small detail: When your reach into the little envelope to get one out, the sheets are so thin compared to your giantess fingers that you inadvertently extract many…
In an astounding flash of genius,
Which—spoiler warning!—is a complete overstatement.
…someone at Neutrogena has put a sticky spot on the inside flap that deftly lifts a single sheet and serves it up perfectly.
Ooh, a “sticky spot.” Amazing! How clever! That’s the kind of innovation and technology that put man on the moon! And—what a coincidence!—it’s identical to the “sticky spot” that’s been part of the package of our store-brand blotting sheets, like, forever. Way to be on the lookout for the latest and greatest, Jean. There are two other Neutrogena products featured in the beauty section, including a glowing review of their makeup remover wipes (which are also pretty much like every other brand of makeup remover wipes). Either these women love the stuff beyond all reason, or this is some seriously misguided advertorial.
Even if it is pay-for-play, we refuse to believe JG-J would be hanging out in skincare-research labs tracking down innovations and testing new forumlations on primates. Her other featured product this month is a Jo Malone fragrance, which is probably indeed lovely, but who cares? Is there a Lucky reader alive who hasn’t heard of Jo Malone?
The other possibility? Maybe Lucky’s beauty editor really is transfixed by small dots of adhesive. In which case, next month we expect wide-eyed astonishment at the wonder of flip-top shampoo bottles! Apparently, it’s no longer necessary to pour an entire bottle into the palm of your hand! And we’re breathlessly awaiting her special report on travel-size products! Those miniature tubes of toothpaste are, like, the most genius creation ever!